Sorry, last week's post was a bit of a cop-out. It was 100% honest, I genuinely didn't know how to feel. However, I should have explained a bit more. I feel different this week, so I am going to move on. I'm feeling happy, happy that my carreer is going somewhere. I feel lucky to have people in my life that love me. The only problem is that these people are not in close proximity to me and it upsets me a little. I barely get time to see them and I barely get time to speak to them. I miss the little things in life that used to make me happy, they are not their any more. They are temporarily broken and I don't have the tools to fix them right now.
Thanks for reading.
I need certain things to be given back. No possessions or luxuries, just necessities and feelings; I hand these out to the right people in the right amounts. I just want those things to be fixed, I need them to be fixed, otherwise I will become crushed under the weight of sadness. The engorging yolk of being seriously ill with the lack of affection in my life. So I apologise for sadness, I have nobody to explain it to, nobody will hear my heart reach out for a friend. This is the lowest I have been in a long time, I'm drowning in the waters and I need somebody to throw me a rope.
Song listening to right now: Uncomfortably Slow - Newton Faulkner