Saturday, 31 December 2011

Week 129: Post Christmas.

So I only just realised I posted a blog on Christmas day without realising it, so this one is dedicated to the holidays. I had a good Christmas this year, seeing my grandparents was great. It was quite but at least I got to see my family. I think there are two things that run this world, one is a lot less valuable than the other. Family and Money. The great thing about being human beings is that we are one of the only species that have a sense of morality around family. A lot of animals will look after their children until they can physically survive, then leave them to find their own way. Sea turtles leave their eggs behind on the beach and never ever see their kids again. Some animals even feed on their children in desperate need. We, as humans, are the only species to have an almost full sense of morality. Some choose to ignore it and some acknowledge it but do nothing with it. I am grateful to have a caring family and people surrounding me that do love me.


"Youth is the engine of the world" - Matisyahu Miller.

Song listening to right now: Youth - Matisyahu

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Week 128: A sense of direction.

I look back at the 9/11 memorial morning sometimes and I think about the half an hour or so where I was wandering through the streets of Lower Manhattan, a little lost and confused. They had closed some of the main roads/footpaths. The police kept telling everybody different things, some roads kept opening and closing. It was rather confusing. I just wanted to get to where I wanted to be, I had a sense of direction but I could not use it. I feel that right now, with my future. I know exactly where I want to be, but there are some aspects restricting me from getting there. I will find a way to use my compass, I just need to blow the dust off it first.

Keep reading.

This photograph was taken that morning. We were asking the police officers where to go. We got numerous answers that were all completely different and ended up walking in a complete circle. I stopped and got breakfast in a deli, I thought I might as well just wait it out and then they would have settled with some concrete pedestrian diversion. I came out the deli and saw this officer directing people. He pointed me in the right direction and I didn't even notice his elbow tattoo until weeks later when I saw the picture expanded on my computer screen.

Song listening to right now: Rise, Rebel, Resist - Otep

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Week 127: The City That Never Sleeps.

Do you ever feel like your "life pacemaker" has just stopped? You're running on a treadmill at your full potential then suddenly, the treadmill cuts out. You fall flat on your face and don't have the motivation to get back up again and carry on running.

Coming back from travelling, my daily routine has been smashed to smithereens. I've found myself with nothing to do for a while. I am having a lot of trouble sleeping and I when I lie in bed trying to get to sleep, I can't do it. I lie there thinking about all the time I'd waste if I fell asleep and all the things I could be doing with myself in that time. Then I think about thinking, a sort of meta-cognition, I think about how much time I'm wasting thinking about stuff like that. I'm not actually sleeping so I should be doing something proactive instead of just thinking about not doing it. It's an endless loop that really plays with my mind. After a busy few months I'm suddenly doing nothing with my days and nights, when I should really be finding a way to occupy my mind.

Thanks for reading.

I realise I have posted a photograph of a New York Sleeper before, in fact I have a fine collection of them. This one was taken just off E. 42nd street in Manhattan. This man was there all night long. Sleeping on the scaffolding. Every now and again he'd lose his balance, shudder and wake up momentarily. I wondered if he was dreaming about falling off a cliff, you know when you almost fall out of bed in your sleep? The difference was, that he was doing it every 30 seconds or so. I'm sure that can't be good for your brain. Constantly dreaming that you're falling to your death every 30 seconds. I'm sure it would have been more comfortable to just sleep on the ground with his back facing a nice hard wall and covered in the blanket he was carrying. Then again, I'm sure it would have been more comfortable sleeping in a king sized bed at the Hilton just down the road.

Song listening to right now: Runes To My Memory - Amon Amarth

Friday, 9 December 2011

Week 126: An end to things.

So ending my travels for a bit, a little rest is deserved I think. Things will change, I have to come to terms with the idea of not having much of a routine. My life will get a little boring for a bit, I'm sure most of you have had boring periods throughout your life and if not you are most likely to experience them at some point. For now I shall entertain you with photographs from my journeys that connect with my feelings over the next few weeks. So even though this is an end to being busy, this is also a good time to reflect for me.


Taken in Little Italy, New York. I know this is technically two photographs, but it's more effective as a diptych. Just a funny photograph since I will be relaxing for the next few weeks. He had been hiding underneath that carnival stand all afternoon. Primarily to keep warm, but every now and again he would pop out to pick up people's half finished cigarettes and dropped food or change. Obviously nothing special behind these two photographs, just a little bit of humour.

Song listening to right now: I Am Hell (Sonata in C) - Machine Head

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Week 125: Work II.

Much the same as last week, apart from I'm back home in England now. All that time a way from home and I can relax now. The next few entries will be full of photographs from my travels so don't worry, you will see the full extent of my photography out there.

Thanks for reading.

A young soldier at Latrun, Israel.

Song listening to right now: Lovely Day - Bill Withers

Monday, 28 November 2011

Week 124: Work.

I wouldn't mind doing this for a job for the rest of my life. Photographing different cultures around the world. It's hard work, and the middle east is a completely different contrast to New York. When photographing something so different, you must turn your thinking cap round 180 degrees and almost think backwards. Sometimes it's best not to think at all, at least that way you will have a much more open and unbiased mind towards things. The wars on religion and territory are still going on here in the middle east. There is a lot of history here. I will not force my view on you, I will leave you to find your own way.


This photograph is obviously a little different from the last one.

"The evidence will show this case is about misinterpretation, misinformation and misdiagnosis from day one."

Song listening to right now: Inhale - Killswitch Engage

Week 123: A different type of pilgrimage.

So travelling around the world has been tiring and I am getting "sick and tired". Home sick and tired of travelling at such a frequent rate. However, neither of these things have put a negative spin on things. In fact they have driven me to take more photographs, to take advantage of my situation. I miss friends a lot, but I have taken this opportunity to visit as much family as possible in Israel. I have a big family so it's tiring work. Even though we may live in countries that are worlds apart, I can tell that our hearts are all in the same place.

Thank you.

This is a different type of photography than I've been used to experiencing over the past few weeks. This type of photograph is a small break from the seriousness of what I've seen recently. A playful and loving image that securely connects with me and my family. Family is pilgrimage, and I will never forget that.

Song listening to right now: Trapped Under Ice - Metallica

Friday, 11 November 2011

Week 122: Journey.

This is just part of a journey, a long road that I have been travelling down for years. This is journey is not measured in distance, it cannot be, because this journey has lead me to the beginning. The only way I can explain this is to measure this journey with time. This particular section is a pilgrimage to the start.


We followed a group of Bedouins through the desert. This trip is part of their regular routine and this particular image was taken right next to the famous Maktesh Ramon (giant erosion crater) in Israel. In fact, if I was to take this on the other side of the three figures, I would have to be floating 200 foot above the bottom of the crater.The Negev desert is huge, yet you can somehow bump into a small group of (and sometimes individual) Bedouins that are just wondering. Actually, maybe "wondering" is the wrong word, because they walk with a stride that exhuberates a sense of direction, something tells you that they know exactly where they are headed and where they will end up. I envy them.

Song listening to right now: In Flames - Pinball Map

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Week 121: Worlds II.

Much the same as last week's, hope you're enjoying my travels as much as I am.


There will be a string of photographs from the Negev, over the next few weeks. We met a group of Ethiopians, that claimed to be Dimona Israelites,walking through the desert. Goat herders mainly. This young girl dropped her colouring book, it had educational pages that showed her how to do her times tables. She accidentally dropped it and it blew away in the wind, we chased after it for her, but she really wasn't fussed about it. We still got it back to her however.

Song listening to right now: Bother - Stone Sour

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Week 120: Worlds.

So I'm in another country once again. A country that seems so alien but should seem so familiar. It's a strange feeling. Yes, it feels like another world. It feels almost as though it's another time period mixed with today's modernity. I can't explain through words. I am working hard. Taking photographs of a lot of different things. Variety is key. Portraits, animals, landscapes, cityscapes etc. To portray the true nature of a country would be a difficult challenge. However, to reach that goal I must be as diverse and open minded as possible.


Taken in the Negev desert. The relationship between human and nature is taken pretty seriously in the middle east. There is a lot of superstition floating around in the world that we may take for granted in our western culture. The Ibex have authority over a lot of things. It is believed they are the earthly representation of Beelzebub. From their appearance you can obviously see why. What they say, goes. If they want to sit in the shade, you better get out of the way. Even if it means you miss the bus that only runs every ninety minutes.

Song listening to right now: YYZ - Rush

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Week 119: Attitude.

There has been a drastic change in my life and it has sent me in a direction I fear/love. My feelings this week were mainly related to the positive and negative aspects of excitement. Flying off to another part of the world yet again, and the photographs that follow will be interesting. They will add to my career and the experience will be a great life lesson. My attitude will change.


The American attitude will never change. This was captured in Battery Park, New York city. The flags you see behind him are to commemorate each individual American that died in the 9/11 attacks. There were many citizens that were using the memorial in the way they would any other park even though this was during the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks.

Song listening to right now: C'est la Vie - Protest the Hero

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Week 118: A view for any occasion.

Whether I am with a friend, family or even when I am on my own I will always view myself from other people's perspective. I understand if people look at me differently from how I'd like to be viewed, and to be completely honest with you, I prefer it. I dress or act in a certain way, so do most people. However, you can never judge a book completely by its cover, but you can also not help others having opinions on that cover. I like it, I like people to use their own imaginations when looking at me.


Here's a photograph I took in a pretty expensive cafe in New York. I'd like you to use your own imagination with this image, with those details being the only directions to go with it.

Song listening to right now: Collapse - War of Ages.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Week 117: Expectations.

I've always believed you should seek goodness in others and not pass judgement on them until they have done something to wrong you, regardless of their race, skin colour, social status, financial status, religion, beliefs, physical appearance, music taste or clothes. Opinions come into it as well, just because someone does not share the same opinion as you, does not make them a bad person at heart. Always focus on the positive, only hate when it is absolutely necessary to hate and use it as a last resort. Follow this and you'll do a lot better in life.


This was taken near Soho, New York. From what I was saying before, it relates to prejudice. I never know what to think when the homeless ask me for my money. They could be genuinely desperate for money that will provide them with food, or they could spend it on other substances such as drugs or alcohol. You never know. Which is why, I will never give a homeless person money. Instead, I will give them some food. This way I can get an idea of what the money was intended for by the individual's reaction and it also gives me the satisfaction that I have done a good deed. On the other hand, giving a person money may or may not result in a good deed, this is why you must be cautious. You can never be to certain though. In London 'Pret A Manger' give their left over sandwiches to the homeless at the end of the day. Which, I think beats most other conglomerate businesses that will throw all the left over food in the bin. So after seeing the copious amount of homeless people in NYC I thought about this for a while. You can never judge someone until you have truly got to know them and their intentions. Intentions are the key to a person's nature.

If you ever get a chance, read the novel Stone Cold by author Robert Swindells. It is quite a short book but has a lot of philosophy behind it. It deals with the homeless, and in this case a young man that had serious bad luck and was forced onto the streets. This is the case for thousands of people around the world, sometimes it is not their fault whatsoever and they still get treated badly by the general public. However, there are some out there that are homeless due to their own lifestyle, and have nobody to blame but themselves. It is thoughts like this that have lead me to a way of thinking that you can never say "I know what it's like to be in your shoes" or "I completely understand" because, no matter how similar your situation may have been or how much you think you understand somebody's situation, you just do not understand.

No matter how much you think you've been in the same position as another individual, you still cannot understand what they are going through. This is because EVERYONE is an individual, they have all had different past experiences to everybody else. They have all lived their lives in different ways and therefore will view things differently. It is this mass variety in perception that differentiates the way each individual will view alternative situations. So please, when you are giving support to somebody, be sympathetic but do not try and compare their situation with yours. It may have been harder for you, it may have been easier but at the end of the day it was a completely different situation.

Song listening to right now: King of The Road - Roger Miller

Thursday, 15 September 2011

Week 116: Putting things into perspective.

Today has made me think about the way I used to be. I've done things in my past that I'm not proud of. I've lied to people I care about, I've been jealous when I shouldn't have, I've said things that are not polite and I've treated people in a manner that was not any where near how I would have liked to be treated myself. This however, was years ago. Recently, I've been a very genuine and honest guy about things. I've shown genuine understanding towards other people's feelings, I've been completely honest and share optimism with everyone I meet. This is mainly down to one person that managed to change the way I live my life, and I don't think they even realised it. I really like the man I have become now. I do not have any sympathy with the man I used to be. I think it's a good thing to admit and confess to the bad things you have done but it's also a virtue to judge someone on the way they are now and not judge them by their past. Show appreciation to those who deserve the truth and you'll be okay.

I have been thinking about all of this recently and I'd just like to point out that the past couple of weeks have put everything into perspective. Things have happened that have made me think that none of that matters compared to what else is going on in the world. For example, witnessing the memorial of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. When you view the emotions of the people who were effected by something as extreme as 9/11, you realise what really matters in life. In New York people come from all walks of life. They may be viewed as good people or bad people, they may have done things that they regret in the past but when something as catastrophic as 9/11 happens, they all manage to come together and help each other out. What I witnessed, was a loving community all coming together to pay their respects, no matter what kind of person they were.


Just have a look at this photograph I took on the 10th anniversary. New York was on lock-down. The Army, the Navy, top police officers, S.W.A.T, F.B.I and The Secret Service, were all scouting the jungle that is Manhattan. Still, throughout all of the formalities and tension, there were numerous locals showing their pride and their respect to all of the U.S citizens lost on that day. It was a beautiful thing to watch and it thoroughly encouraged my optimism for the human race. It put a lot into perspective, I know I haven't been the nicest guy in the past but there is still hope through compassion and love.

Song listening to right now: One - Metallica

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Week 115: 9/11.

What can I say? There's not much to say right? I'm not an American, but I just spent the ten year anniversary of the 9/11 bombings in Lower Manhattan, New York. I'm an alien, I felt bad for feeling any emotions. It almost felt like I didn't deserve to feel sad. That didn't stop the emotions from flooding in though. I got up at 7am and went down to Lower Manhattan this morning to see how close I could get to the memorial and listen to the names being called out. By the time I got down to Battery Park, I was already feeling my vocal chords tighten up and goosebumps were appearing up and down me. I then hung around Battery for a while, looking out at the Statue of Liberty and then looking back on the thousands of flags scattered around the park for each life that was lost. I then thought it was time we started making our way down to the memorial. With my gaze fixed on the Freedom Tower, I started marching. This is what I came across at precisely 9:11am...

Carry on reading.

A leap of Faith. 9:11am September 11th 2011.

The entire day was full of emotional, physical and shocking moments. I managed to capture a lot of these and I promise you that you will witness an influx of photographs from this day in particular.

Song listening to right now: Conclusion of an Age - Sylosis

Monday, 5 September 2011

Week 114: Concrete Jungle.

I apologise for the slight lateness of this post, I have touched down. America is here. I've taken a hell of a load of pictures. There is nothing like New York City, I've come just before quite an emotional weekend and I can feel that already. I will keep you all updated with the goings on but for now I'm going to leave you with.

I will own this.

I didn't want to post any of the usual Empire States or Chryslers, I just wanted to show you a photograph of a dense circuit board. A small section of the mass battery that is New York City. This was taken at the top of The Empire State building. Most people were taking photographs of the skyline, the tourist spots and the great architectural landmarks that are flagships of this great city. I did the same. However, I also took a series of pictures that made me think and will also make others think. I have an entire series of these photographs. The sensor of my camera was wallpapered with concrete.

Song listening to right now: Chronicles - Viatrophy

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Week 113: Reflection & Excitement.

Leaving for NYC in just over a week, all I can say this week is you guys should look forward to a mass influx of images involving an apple of enormous proportions.


This is an old fashion photograph I took over a year ago, it's a reflection on where I was back then. It was a point when I didn't think I could push my photography any further. Luckily I overcame that and have learnt a lot about myself and my connection with the camera. There really isn't much else to say apart from illustrating my excitement.

Song listening to right now: My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Week 112: TesseracT.

This week is very similar to the last. However, I'm feeling sad due to certain issues in my life that have effected my thought process on the project that's in the pipeline. I've tried to push these issues to one side however it has stopped me from any planning and has rendered me useless at the moment. So I will make this week's photograph another blast from the past.


Here we have Dan Tompkins who has recently left the band TesseracT. I thought it was appropriate to post a photograph of him, since I've been listening to the song he collaborated on with Marty Friedman (ex Megadeth) and Skyharbor. This was from the same gig as the photograph I posted last week and again conjures up all kinds of nostalgia. A fantastic, disciplined singer and an all round hero.

Song listening to right now: Carthasis - Skyharbor (Ft. Dan Tompkins and Marty Friedman

Friday, 12 August 2011

Week 111: Periphery.

This week I've been looking over some old photos that bring back memories of when times were good. There's not much to say, because I don't feel much at the moment. I'm still planning a project though so don't think that I am being idol. I'm hard at work.


This was one of my favourite gigs I've photographed. I've steered clear of a lot of event photography but I delve in it now and again when I am called upon. This was Periphery at Rock City, Nottingham. They were supported by TesseracT and put on a great show. It brings up memories of great times listening to music and just hanging out at gigs. Although a lot of my photography is normally constructed and conceptual, I do like to have a little bit of fun every now and again.

Song listening to right now: Icarus Lives - Periphery

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Week 110: Pure Zandra V.

I've looked into my future, I've written down lists and made sacrifices. I will carry on. This week has been a busy one, I haven't searched the catacombs of my ever motivated mind in a long time. This time I found something worth working towards.


So this is the last week of collecting the Zandra Rhodes photographs together, and will be the last fashion instalment for a while as I'm planning something quite big. I will keep you up to date with all the other aspects of my life that need mentioning, but I shall inform you now that I am planning something quite big.

Song listening to right now: Fragile Bird - City and Colour

Friday, 29 July 2011

Week 109: Pure Zandra IV.

So Pure 2011 was a success. I've made a lot of contacts, exchanged business cards and just generally networked. There isn't much to say this week apart from it has been productive. I will be getting back to you with some more retouched images over the past few weeks, and will probably delve back into some more conceptual work of mine. However, for now please enjoy the more commercial stuff and tell me your thoughts.


Another jewellery and outfit combination from Zandra. She bases a lot of her jewellery on things she has picked up over the years, mainly little mementos from travelling certain places. She uses her life as her inspiration.

Song listening to right now: Teras - Sylosis

Monday, 25 July 2011

Week 108: Pure Zandra III.

Again, I'm getting some more work in. Travelling round taking photographs of iconic clothing really takes it's toll. Actually, no it doesn't. I appreciate everything to do with Zandra Rhodes and I've been thinking about success all week. There's not much else to say I'm afraid.

I'll keep you informed.

This was a promo shot for Zandra Rhodes' new jewellery collection. They were paired with some beautiful dresses and beautiful models. Enjoy.

Song listening to right now: Be(lie)ve Good Fight Music - While She Sleeps

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Week 107: Fear.

At the moment, I am fearing change. I look back on my school days when the scariest moment in my life was leaning back on my chair just that little bit too far every Maths lesson. Now change is constricting me, it is causing a certain claustrophobic fear that was never there before. I am normally a fan of change, I guess I still am. However, I can't withhold my anticipating fears. I do not know what do next.


I thought this photograph suited the way I felt this week. It was taken on the underground, I kept my photography very candid that day. I was documenting people who genuinely looked scared or paranoid. This man, after every bump or flash of lights, would ignore the magazine he was reading and check that everything was all right with the train. I'm a frequent user of the London underground but I had never seen someone so genuinely afraid of travelling this way. I guess it matches up quite well with my feelings of being claustrophobic with going from A to B.

Song listening to right now: Lemon Meringue Tree - Dance Gavin Dance

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Week 106: Judgement.

In situations such as interviews, first dates, auditions and first acquaintances we pass judgement within moments of first contact. It's a well known fact that an interviewer will make their final judgement on the interviewee within seconds of meeting them, even if they don't know it themselves.


Pass judgement on this individual, I give you permission. He's a friend of mine. Ask yourselves about him.

Song listening to right now: The Darkest Nights - As I Lay Dying.

Thursday, 30 June 2011

Week 105: Comedic II.

I feel almost exactly the same this week, nothing has changed. So I shall keep it short. I feel on top of world and I think this feeling will last.


From the same shoot, a specific photograph for Phil's website. His "contact" section to be precise. There's not much to this style of commercial portraiture. I like to keep the concepts quite simple and down to earth. This was in fact his idea, I will always take into account the ideas of clients. There really isn't much else to report this week.

Song listening to right now: Heads or Tails? Real or Not - Emarosa

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Week 104: Comedic.

I feel a great flow of happiness in my soul at the moment. The utter shock of realising the greatness of friends and family has lead me to laugh, to laugh at all the sorrow that has been posted in this blog. I am so happy with the way my life is going right now, I have no idea were this journey will lead me but thinking about it just makes me smile, and I'd like to think that there is nothing wrong with that. When you laugh at something that is joyous rather than funny, that's a different type of comedy. It's a comedy that soothes the soul instead of tickling it.

Thanks for reading this week.

The way I feel this week has coincidently lead me to do a shoot for up and coming comedian Phil Boothman. Phil has been a close friend of mine for years now and has always managed to help me out by cheering me up with his witty, satirical, dark and almost cynical sense of humour. He's made it his profession and is now making audience's cackle all around the country. If you ever get a chance to see him, I'd seriously recommend it. I thought I'd help Phil out with a shoot since he has helped me out for most of my adolescent life, making me laugh at things that most other friends would not point out. He tells it how it is, and IT is funny.

Song listening to right now: Get Inside - Stone Sour

Thursday, 23 June 2011

Week 103: Uncaged.

I feel free, for once in my life. I feel completely free. It won't last and I know it. However, I will feel a little less caged by the fear of myself. I have people who are close to me and I have one person is a lot closer than the rest. It's their attention that keeps me uncaged.


This photograph was taken on the spur of the moment, a "free" photograph. No preconceptions of what it will look like, no conformities and no cages to categorize it in. This is also how I view my friend Marty.

Song listening to right now: Snakecharmer - Rage Against The Machine

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Week 102: Still.

There really isn't too much to say this week apart from I am content with nothing happening. Things are still for the time being, things will get moving next week and I can't wait to see the people I adore. They keep me moving.


This was taken at Cemetery Junction in Reading. This is what kept one of the homeless men from being still. If we look back to Week 66 ( then we can see Chewie seeming quite still after smoking some of the substance in the photograph above, however this is not what he would deem as still, his brain is moving, it keeps him going. Without it his life would be still. He has got to the point where smoking marijuana has to happen, it works as a fuel for his life. His life is moving very slowly but it is moving none the less. It is a slow tragedy.

Song listening to right now: Reinventing Your Exit - Underoath

Friday, 10 June 2011

Week 101: Caged.

What do you fear?

"A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valour has gone beyond recall or desire."

A quote from a pretty famous trilogy of films that made me question my desires in life. When I was younger I wanted everything, I wanted to own everything. Now all I want is to own one thing. Freedom. I don't want to feel trapped for the rest of my life. As long as I have enough money to get by, and I'm doing something I enjoy, surrounded by people I love, then that is all that matters. I can't control my future but I can control my path through it. I want to do something worthwhile, worth my while.


This was taken on 5x4 once again, and was part of the constructing project I focused on about a year or so ago. It's not as natural as you may think. It is a construction of true happiness within friendships and social gatherings.

Song listening to right now: Her Advice Cost Us A Life - Emarosa

Sunday, 5 June 2011

Week 100: Centurion.

So this is my centurion post, let's make it a good one. One hundred weeks is a long time, and considering I have to do ten times this much, I guess I should not be celebrating too much. So what is the whole purpose of this blog? To show off my work? To ramble on about my recent activities, emotions and the life I have experienced so far? Well, I guess it's a big hybrid of everything really. I'd like to think that it's main purpose is to act as an archive of photographs accompanied by reminders of why I took them and an explanation as to how I was feeling at the time when I decided to refer back to the pictures.

One of the main things this diary achieves is an expression of both my qualities and my flaws. I am aware of most of my imperfections in many different areas. However, this week I have been thinking about the way I've acted over my lifetime; the ways I have treated others. If I look back and ponder over my teenage years, I know that I was not the nicest guy in the world. There were some things I said and did that I wish had not come from me. I wish that they had not happened but that does not mean I regret them. They have made me who I am and I have learnt from it. I have steered away from acting like that, only because I acted like that in the first place. Some people still have their "bad guy" moment to come, and because they are older they will find it a lot harder to deal with. It's very similar to the Chickenpox I guess. Some people will never have a bad guy period and others will ignore it when it comes a long. Much like the Chickenpox, if it is ignored it won't affect the individual, but if it is noticed it will cut deep and scar. The scar does not heal but it teaches you not to scratch.

Being a bad guy is also pretty contagious, people will take sides and take on opinions they may not agree with just because it has to be done. For example, when looking at an argument between two of my close friends. I now know which side I should take, but I also know which side I have to take. By this I mean, I will agree with one thing but I may need to stick to my loyalty as a friend and pretend I agree with something I don't. However, I now understand that it is all fake. Back when I was young, naive and a little bit nasty, I was completely biased and lied to myself that I believed in something I didn't.

Everything depends on which guns you stick to; your morals or your loyalties. If the answer is both then good for you, you were lucky this time round. If your morals do lie in the same bed as your loyalties then beware. Sometimes the ones that you are loyal to will change their morals. This may look like a complex train of thought, but it really isn't. It's just the simple ramblings of a male photographer who thinks he has experienced his life when in fact, he hasn't even started yet.

Thanks for keeping up with the 100 out of 1000 blog entries so far, if you've only just started reading, please look back over previous posts and have a gander at some of my work.



There is a photograph very similar that was posted a few weeks back. This one however, was taken on a different film. The other was 5x4 colour transparency, this was 5x4 HP5 Black and White. The photograph is completely different. The colour photograph seems a bit more about the girl. This one adds purpose to the girl's environment. She is surrounded by rocks, she is alone but she doesn't seem frightened. The reason I chose this photograph is because I feel that I am surrounded by stone walls and in isolation when recalling the memories of my adolescence. Although I feel trapped, I am still calm because I know that I am different now and therefore nowhere near as vulnerable to certain forces such as regret.

Song listening to right now: Got To Give It Up - Marvin Gaye

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Week 99: Connecting piece.

Do you ever feel like you're the connecting piece in the jigsaw puzzle that is your friendship group? Or if you don't feel that you have a friendship group, maybe you're a connecting piece in a certain community or occupational environment. Either way, we are all connecting pieces. There have been many obvious theories on human connections and mutual friends, one being the famous Six Degrees of Separation and others being connected to a Small World society. If two groups of friends have become one simply because of me introducing them to each other, I do not feel I should brag. Instead I feel important, mainly because I am contributing to shrinking the world that tiny bit more.

Thanks for reading


Being someone who joins people together can change the course of somebody else's life quite dramatically. If you introduce somebody to a different way of life, they will pursue that way if they choose to. It is a tiring thought and exhausts my mind when trying to think back on who's life I have change and who's I haven't. This is not arrogance as you have probably done it too in one form or another. Have a think, and contemplate the true path that lead you to where you are. Was it destiny or something a little more complex that ? Where do you stand in the great Venn diagram of society?

Song listening to right now: Not My Love 2 - Tides of Man

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Week 98: Virtues.

Patience is not a virtue. It may seem to be a good trait, but that saying has a lot of flaws. Imagine you are a patient type of guy. You wait around for as long as you can and if things turn out your way then that's okay and if they don't then it does not really matter anyway. However, imagine doing this over and over for years, eventually it will build up. If you wait and wait for something to come along, some thing that will make you happy. You wait for so long that it corrupts your personality. You go from being a good guy to a bad guy just because this thing that was meant to make you happy just has not turned up. Imagine if it just doesn't come, that one thing (or person) does not think it is appropriate to walk into your life. That would be a great tragedy. Patience is not a virtue.

Thanks for reading.

This was taken on a Sinar 5x4 once again. This is what we are all waiting for in our lives. It may not be in this form, it may not be a person of the opposite (or same) sex. But this photograph shows the end result of a path called desire. Eventually our patience should lead us to it, but sometimes, it just is not in the cards for some of us.

Song listening to right now: Writing on the Walls - Underoath

Monday, 25 April 2011

Week 97: No idea.

This week I want to look back on the time I've spent with some great friends. This week has no real concept or anything to it. Just simple nostalgia, even if these memories are recent they are still nostalgia. I have a strong eye for connections between friends and memories.


Somewhere in Derbyshire.

Song listening to right now: Sex Tapes - Protest The Hero

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Week 96: Partnership.

Two souls can be connected, whether they are human or not. I feel that I am entwined with a certain place in this world, an environment. I may not be there at this specific moment in time, but that landscape determines how I run my life. Environments and humans work together, as a symbiont. I will always keep that in mind.


These bodies are a formal impression of symbiotic behaviour. To try and tear away from that would be blasphemy. If they were to separate from one another, it would not be fitting to their full purpose. They desire one another.

Song listening to right now: Nerve Endings - The Color Morale

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Week 95: Fly.

A lot of people wish they could fly. I believe this is because there is much more space up in the air. The idea of freedom is a hard concept to figure out. Up in the sky where there are no constrictions seems to be the only true definition of freedom that I can think of. However, we must never forget the story of Icarus. Too much freedom could be your demise.


Outfit designed by Georgia Lee.

Song listening to right now: Unholy Confessions - Avenged Sevenfold

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Week 94: A container.

"If you pour oil and vinegar into the same vessel, you would call them not friends but opponents." - Aeschylus

We are all determined by both our environment and the contents of that environment. The contents being the people. Both peers and enemies reside in the same place most of the time, they just don't realise it. I for one, try my hardest to get along with everyone I meet, however there are normally exceptions. This is occasionally when there is someone who tries there hardest to do the opposite, one who gets pleasure from unprovoked confrontation. Sometimes we just need to go where we want and do what we want to do. If anyone has a problem with that, then they should do the same.

Thank you

Taken on 5x4 transparency, and processed with my own form of the E-6 method to reduce saturation of colours. It was important to get this photograph right. It now means a lot to me and could be the key to my future. It was taken at Black Rock in Matlock, a fantastic place for me to go and contemplate ideas. I put somebody else in this vessel, it worked.

Song listening to right now: We Are The Reasons - We Came as Romans

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Week 93: Daydream.

Day dreams mean more to me, I think. I can remember them and edit them how I wish. My subconscious is still present but allows much more manipulation. I have been in a dream like state for a while now and I would not wish it away. I will keep this short as there is not much to say that can keep anyone else from relating to it.


"I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams." - Jonas Salk

Song listening to right now: Relentless Chaos - Miss May I

Friday, 25 March 2011

Week 92: Walk away.

I try my best to just get along in the world. To try and get on with everyone I meet, and please everybody I speak to. Very occasionally I will drop this personality (as I have noticed recently) if I am feeling upset about something. Due to my appalling bad luck, it's normally when I have to make a first impression on somebody and I tend to get judged as moody or sometimes even arrogant. Everybody is allowed to be sad.


"Actions have reactions, don't be quick to judge
You may not know the hardships people don't speak of."

Song listening to right now: Moment of Truth - Gang Starr

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Week 91: Ovation.

Whilst looking over my years of being a portrait photographer, I realised how much I adore the people who have participated in my images. Their dedication to my camera work has made it possible for me to capture the photographs I'm known for. The subjects are the motor that drives my potential to keep extending itself. I would like to thank every individual that has taken part in my photography, even the candid ones. I have no idea how to show this appreciation other than to post it on this personal blog of mine. So if anybody reading this has been in one of my photographs, thank you, seriously thank you.


I do not have any favourite models, but this was certainly one of my favourite shoots. This day consisted of such an interesting family with a simple, lovely living style. This photograph was taken on 5x4 transparency, a long with a series of other photographs for a project that I indulged myself in last year. I will not go into much detail concerning the concept, but I would like to thank Penny Fillingham and the rest of her family for including me in such a great day so that I could capture some fantastic photographs.

Song listening to right now: Hoover Street - Rancid

Monday, 7 March 2011

Week 90: Conformity III.

My week has been full of spontaneity but also sadness. A sadness that describes the longing to be with the ones I love. I miss them. I feel like I need to separate from the opportunity that have arisen and stick my soul to what matters most. This week links in with the past two weeks in a way that I find deeply tragic. I do not wish to conform to what is needed of me within the social world, friends are a fantastic blessing to have, however you cannot mould yourself to fit in with what you have been originally forced into.


This is similar to the last photograph, just take it as a singular image. Well, try to, if you cannot separate the two, I don't really mind.

Song listening to right now: Roots Bloody Roots - Sepultura

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Week 89: Conformity II.

I am still thinking about it so I will still photograph it.


Last week's photograph was a lot more subtle than this.

Song listening to right now: The Grotesque - Johnny Truant

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Week 88: Conformity.

What do you conform to? Everybody conforms to something. Everyone has to have something to strap their lifestyle to. I have been thinking constantly about what people want to pin their lives to, the rules, the regulations and the practice. My highest conformity is probably my passionate aim to make images that make people think. I make them on medium and large format film so I guess I conform to the rules of shooting film exposures. I do however, conform to certain fashions, rules of polite discourse and conversation with acquintances. It's good to know all of this about yourself, otherwise it can slip your mind and you get lost in what is right and what is wrong in a specific situation. I enjoy conformity.


As you may know, I have a fascination with the androgynous. Some women can get away with wearing men's clothing, and some men can do the same with women's. However, the latter is not as common. Recently there has been a real push in the fashion industry to mix gender stereotypes and I'm sure most of you that read fashion magazines have noticed. This is all about conformity, sexual conformity and orientation. For example, what do straight men and women have to fashionably conform to and also what do gays have to fashionably conform to? Debate's like this are hardly contemporary and have existed for years. It just makes a surge into the commercial industry every now and again.

Song listening to right now: The Grotesque - Johnny Truant

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Week 87: Belief.

The word "faith" is too strong to describe my emotions at the moment. It does not exist in the human brain so therefore I will relinquish all use of the word. Instead I wish to focus on "belief", this word is a lot less abstract and much more real. To believe something is to put trust in something, and trust exists. Belief is made up of the truth and the lie. So consequently it is conjured from what is real and what is make believe.

The reason I'm focusing on this is that I have a lot going on at the moment, I've become a busy person. Everyone has their own issues and I understand that, which is why I'm writing this blog in a way that can relate to the reader's problems as well as mine. I'm trying my hardest to get everything done and commit to my top priorities. However, I seem to have a number of priorities on the same level. Well, at least I believe they are on the same level. These priorities are people as well as activities and people have different beliefs. So I have to compensate for what they believe should be my number one priority at the moment. I think this is slightly selfish of certain people to dictate what my priorities should be, especially if it is putting themselves on top. However, this is not always a bad thing, in fact I feel quite flattered when that happens to be honest and I appreciate if it actually works out for the best. So I believe I can get everything done, I believe I can sort out my life into categories that exchange roles in my everyday trivial activities but I also believe that I have to give myself time to do this.

Time is something you cannot buy. However, if you could purchase it... then it wouldn't matter because I'm pretty broke anyway.


Working hard is one thing but believe you are working hard is another. Put your efforts into perspective, compare it with others. No matter what you think, inspiration is all around you and if you observe somebody that is working a lot harder than you are then you will obtain a drive. At first it may seem depressing and it may get you down. Once you learn to harness this influence you can use it to create targets for yourself and your self belief will rise to standards you never knew you had. Work until your brain sweats.

Song listening to right now: The Bloodening - Johnny Truant

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Week 86: Amusement.

Laughter seems to shock. I find something amusing if I truly understand it, if I don't understand it then normally I won't laugh, however if you ever see me laughing at something I do not understand it will completely prosthetic. I understand when somebody laughs at me, so I laugh back at them and it does not seem to shock anyone, but if I were to stay silent, it would cause judgemental side effects that the other party may find offensive. In a true sense, if I haven't laughed back it is because I found your laughter offensive. Amusement is a very fine discourse and it is only because of practice that we know the rules and regulations of it by heart.

Thank you for reading this week.

In the photograph (in general, not this one in particular), there is only silence. Laughter does not exist, sadness does not exist. There is no such thing emitted from the 2D.

Song listening to right now: The Disappointment - Devil Sold His Soul

Monday, 31 January 2011

Week 85: Promotion II.

This is another post concerning the concept of promotion. "Promo shots" are being asked of me constantly by bands. I do charge, I use film which I'm sure a lot of local photographs lack. It gives a much better quality to the images and I am constantly shooting 5x4 and 120 anyway. This is why my rates are my rates. They are negotiable though. If you are in need in any promotion, whether you are a band or part of a company I'm up for helping out the community in anyway possible so let me know.


To promote is to accept responsibility of what you re/present.

Song listening to right now: No Pity for a Coward - Suicide Silence

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Week 84: Promotion.

So I need to promote my work as I am in my final year of my degree. My website will be up and running within the next few months hopefully. If you guys could help me out that would be fantastic. If not then I really don't mind. I feel that promotion is the only way to ever get better at what you do. Enthusiasm is paramount, it overrides techniques tenfold.


Bands are nice to photograph, it gives you a feeling of satisfaction. Promotion. You help them out, they help you out. This is Laguna Sunrise.

Song listening to right now: Hey Charlie - Laguna Sunrise

Friday, 14 January 2011

Week 83: The Trechary of Images.

This week has been busy, I don't have much to say as I don't have time.


This is not a butcher.

Song listening to right now: Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Week 82: 2011 is...

... looking promising, I guess. Although, I'm not sure what it is promising. I am happy with the people who are close to me. I've also tightened relationships with some new friends, that I feel like I've known for a decade. I would just like to show my visual appreciation to these guys this week really.


This is a photograph I took a few years back in Nice, France. It's one of the only photograph's I had to stop and think hard about. So we can all see that it draws you in, you just want to walk to the end of the bridge, but something is holding you back. It's the arrow, you caught it in your periphery didn't you? Yes you did. Either subliminally, subtly or straight away. This is deliberate. It is the conflict between crossing that bridge when you come to it, or turning back and never going near it again.

The way I feel this relates to my friends, may not be clear at first. It certainly wasn't clear to me anyway. I see the bridge symbolising my friends (and this is not any old bull conceptual analogy, it's the way I think) that get me to where I want to go, through supporting me at a higher level than what is pushing me back. The force that is pushing me back, is subtle and inferior to the powerful support that these guys give me. The force that pulls me towards the end of this bridge, the tunnel effect is also symbolic of my peers. They are a force to be reckoned with and I send my regards to all of them.

Song listening to right now: The Pilgrim: Chapter 33 - Kris Kristoffersen