Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Week 154: Faith.

From this week onwards I'm going to focus on putting my faith into me. I've put my faith into so much throughout my life, it's exhausting and hasn't got me anywhere. The only time I've actually got anywhere with anything it has been when I've concentrated all my faith and belief into what I can do and how I can effect my life. I have faith in my friends and those who support me, I always will, but I've ignored fueling myself for a while now. Friendships are confusing. You can know somebody your whole life and feel like they don't know you at all, then suddenly you could meet someone who just knows you from the get go. Just because they haven't been there as long as others doesn't mean they won't be there for a majority of the future. This is why I feel if I can just promote myself and work hard, dedicating myself to myself, I will become a lot more succesful. I will keep the faith with the people that come and go in my life but I just need to take a chunk and feed it to my own self esteem.

If you feel like you've given a lot more than you've received. If you feel like you've been a nice person and all you are getting is people saying horrid things to you. If you know that you've been a good friend, stood up for and given fully motivated support to people, yet you don't get anything in return then just stop and think. Don't give up doing all of that for other people, never give that up, it's who you are. Just think though, if you did all of that and also gave it all to yourself at the same time then you are more likely to just carry on when people let you down. Keep yourself motivated on your dreams, inspirations and final locations. Don't try and help someone else live their dream for them, don't help them when they fail on their dreams. That is their problem. It's good to be selfish when it comes to ambitions. It's even better to be selfish when you are on your way to reaching that goal. Help other people out when you can, but don't ever expect anything in return, because when all is said and done they never asked for you to be that loving, supportive and caring character. You gave and they took.

Thanks for reading this week.


Do not get me wrong, this blog post is not a negative one. I'm not giving up on getting to know people or anything like that. I'm not giving up on supporting friends and meeting new people. I'm not giving up on true friendships and those people that really matter in life. I'm not like that and never will be. I've met some people recently that have genuinely changed my life for the better. They've got me through hard times and they know that I'd be there in a flash for them. This blog post is for those who refuse to do the same for me. This blog post is for all the people I've tried to help, put up with them being completely horrible to me. I'm not trying to be ambiguous or damning. I just feel it's appropriate to express my feelings through a passage of text and an image that suits the emotions at this point in time. This is what I've been doing for over three years now. I won't stop and I certainly won't apologise for never stopping. Thank you to those who have listened to me and those who have also opened up to me. Mutual feelings shared are mutual feelings gained. I've always believed that.

Song listening to right now: Fast Car - Tracy Chapman

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