Imagine you find something beautiful, it's the best thing you've ever seen. It doesn't matter what it is, it could be anything. Imagine one day, someone takes it away from you and locks it up somewhere where you can't find it. After a long time of trying to find it, giving up, trying to find it again, giving up again etc. you realise that maybe it doesn't matter that you aren't near it any more. The memory and the sense of that thing still remains within you, it still makes you happy and it doesn't matter how long you spend away from it, those memories will always be inside your head. That thing will always be apart of you even if that thing is apart from you.
So I've been thinking about something that crops up a lot of the time in my thoughts. My closest friend is so far away, not only in distance but I am also forbidden to talk to her. So she is also out of reach within the realms of communication too. Even though she is so far away and I have not been able to communicate with her, I know that we are still as close as we ever were or ever will be. She knows that I care for her, and I know that she cares for me, we are not lovers; it's a friendship thing. When you find your best friend you just... know.
She knows that I will always be there for her and she also knows that I want her to succeed in everything she does. Two strongly connected souls can always sense each other, there are twitches in my mood, when I know we are thinking about each other. I strongly dislike the fact we are not allowed to speak to one another and when we do, it has to be done in secret. It's a horrible feeling.
Even though I am not the one that is being constricted by this horrible rule, I am the one that still feels trapped. I know that she feels the same too. She is the kindest girl I know and she deserves to be treated how she treats other people, with the utmost respect and genuine love. She is utterly talented and it is being wasted. Friends are not things that should be prohibited, they should be encouraged.
Although this rule is not actually being implemented on myself, I understand what would happen if I encouraged her to break this rule, so I keep quiet about it and treat the situation with respect. We know each other very well, better than we know ourselves. It is something that surpasses knowledge of secrets about one another or trivial things, that is not what I am talking about, that is not friendship, it's more of a spiritual thing. We know each other perfectly, and that is it. This is probably the most personal entry I have made in a long time, but in all honesty, there is no room left for obscurity this time. It is time for the literal. I want my best friend back and I will always be there when she feels it is time for that rule to broken.
I love you and miss you dearly.
From the constriction collection, a very relevant photograph I think. If you've been in a situation like mine, contact me and we can talk about it.
Song listening to right now: Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy