So this is my centurion post, let's make it a good one. One hundred weeks is a long time, and considering I have to do ten times this much, I guess I should not be celebrating too much. So what is the whole purpose of this blog? To show off my work? To ramble on about my recent activities, emotions and the life I have experienced so far? Well, I guess it's a big hybrid of everything really. I'd like to think that it's main purpose is to act as an archive of photographs accompanied by reminders of why I took them and an explanation as to how I was feeling at the time when I decided to refer back to the pictures.
One of the main things this diary achieves is an expression of both my qualities and my flaws. I am aware of most of my imperfections in many different areas. However, this week I have been thinking about the way I've acted over my lifetime; the ways I have treated others. If I look back and ponder over my teenage years, I know that I was not the nicest guy in the world. There were some things I said and did that I wish had not come from me. I wish that they had not happened but that does not mean I regret them. They have made me who I am and I have learnt from it. I have steered away from acting like that, only because I acted like that in the first place. Some people still have their "bad guy" moment to come, and because they are older they will find it a lot harder to deal with. It's very similar to the Chickenpox I guess. Some people will never have a bad guy period and others will ignore it when it comes a long. Much like the Chickenpox, if it is ignored it won't affect the individual, but if it is noticed it will cut deep and scar. The scar does not heal but it teaches you not to scratch.
Being a bad guy is also pretty contagious, people will take sides and take on opinions they may not agree with just because it has to be done. For example, when looking at an argument between two of my close friends. I now know which side I should take, but I also know which side I have to take. By this I mean, I will agree with one thing but I may need to stick to my loyalty as a friend and pretend I agree with something I don't. However, I now understand that it is all fake. Back when I was young, naive and a little bit nasty, I was completely biased and lied to myself that I believed in something I didn't.
Everything depends on which guns you stick to; your morals or your loyalties. If the answer is both then good for you, you were lucky this time round. If your morals do lie in the same bed as your loyalties then beware. Sometimes the ones that you are loyal to will change their morals. This may look like a complex train of thought, but it really isn't. It's just the simple ramblings of a male photographer who thinks he has experienced his life when in fact, he hasn't even started yet.
Thanks for keeping up with the 100 out of 1000 blog entries so far, if you've only just started reading, please look back over previous posts and have a gander at some of my work.
There is a photograph very similar that was posted a few weeks back. This one however, was taken on a different film. The other was 5x4 colour transparency, this was 5x4 HP5 Black and White. The photograph is completely different. The colour photograph seems a bit more about the girl. This one adds purpose to the girl's environment. She is surrounded by rocks, she is alone but she doesn't seem frightened. The reason I chose this photograph is because I feel that I am surrounded by stone walls and in isolation when recalling the memories of my adolescence. Although I feel trapped, I am still calm because I know that I am different now and therefore nowhere near as vulnerable to certain forces such as regret.
Song listening to right now: Got To Give It Up - Marvin Gaye