Sometimes I wake from a dream, realise it was just a dream and then fall back to sleep again. Very rarely, I will fall back into the same dream knowing I have been dreaming. I then have complete control over myself for a short amount of time in this dream. I've spoken about lucid dreaming before, over a year ago now but I've been experiencing it a little different recently. This time my dreams have started to involve memories. Memories of things that I would not think about in day to day life. They are almost dispositional, rather than surreal. They are memories that are ready for me to harvest through the state of dreaming. It's a strange feeling that I cannot really do much about. The thing that really gets me, is that when I'm in that place between dream and awake, I know what's coming next but I can't control myself enough to stop it from happening. I can however, completely control myself once it has happened.
I made a series of portraits of people behind masks. This was a parody of the Portrait. It plays with the concept that all portraits are, in fact, masks. You can never show what a person is truly like through one photograph (or even a series of frames i.e film and cinema) it is something more than that. The irony of the Portrait is that the true portrayal is actually behind the portrait itself. So in this case I tried my best to illustrate that concept, I made a series of portraits of people trying to break through that mask. Much like a wet piece of cloth, it is almost impossible to break through, it won't suffocate you unless you struggle.
The mask is very much like that place between dream and awake that I mentioned earlier. I am in a constant struggle to control myself and break through that mask, but once I get into the dream (that place behind the mask) then I can control myself completely.
Song listening to right now: Elaborama - Everytime I Die