Week 164: If It Means A Lot To You.

First off, my parents mean a heck of a lot to me, both of them. They've helped me out so much over the years and have been there for me when I've needed them the most. They've been through everything with me and I have nothing but admiration for them.

At the moment I am realising what means the most to me. I've spoken words I've not spoken in years. I've felt my cheeks ache from hours of laughter and smiling. I've also appreciated things in the world that haven't even entered my mind before.

Pure happiness means the most to me right now and that is all I am receiving. Even when I go through something pretty rough, I have someone there. Of course I know I've always had my friends there for me through thick and thin, they have no idea how much enduring love I have for them. However, this time I have someone who goes out of their way to make me smile and I'd do the same no matter what. I haven't appreciated something this much in a long time, and I certainly haven't felt this appreciated in even longer.

Thank you, seriously thank you.

D.
 












I could say a lot about this picture, how I was feeling when I was taking it, my thought process, the reason I took it and how certain events have changed the meaning of it. There is a lot to it. It's not just a snap, there is so much behind it. However, I've kept it to myself and it will be years before I'm ready to explain it. Only a handful of people understand and only a handful of people will ever understand. It means a lot to me to know I can share such things with certain people.

Song listening to right now: Scene One: James Dean & Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping with Sirens

Week 163: A State of Utter Happiness.

I've been on the pursuit of happiness for a long time now. I spent a long time searching, wading through the thick waves of social life, wrestling with emotions and sparring with anxiety. Then suddenly one day I decided to stop. To just... stop.

It walked straight into my life. As soon as I stopped pursuing happiness, it decided to pursue me. Everything is going great for me, my career is going really well, I'm getting a great reputation around London, I'm finally back into the world of music and someone great has walked into my life. Someone caring, someone selfless and someone that has an extreme talent to make others in the vicinity smile. That person is a great friend and also a fantastic conversationist. I've never had conversations like this before. There are things brought up that mean a lot to me, I've opened up and spoken about things so honestly. I have always been honest with everyone I meet but now I have no reason to hide my past. It's just a truly natural feeling and I am happy. I've got a bright future ahead of me and because of this I am drowned in glee, engulfed with the feeling that things are going to go my way. I have some exciting plans for my future and I have an enduring amount of respect for everyone that has supported me and my plans. It's those intimate, close moments with friends that will stick by me and never leave my memory.

I'd really like to thank my friends, everyone that surrounds me has been so great to me. They've offered their homes, their time and they've created memories with me that will stay with me until the end. I have people that I can phone up at any hour if I need guidance or support. Those are my heroes.

"I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world"

Thanks for reading.
Daniel.

I think it's appropriate to post one of the photographs from the 9/11 memorial due to the date this post is being published. This was taken at the 10th Memorial in 2011. Families and close loved ones stick together through hard times (I am by no means comparing what I've been through to the disaster that took place in New York, it's just a photograph of mine that I think is symbolic of mutual emotions). It is the people that have stuck by you, since the day you met that you must stick with in times of dire need. To be happy, you must surround yourself with people who make you happy. It's fine to be sad with those people but when all the tears have been shed you can celebrate the good times with them. I'm happy that I have someone I can call up late at night and completely pour my heart out to. Thank you, you make me smile.

Song listening to right now: Dark Days - Parkway Drive

Week 162: No Respect.

The harsh truth that everyone is hiding from you. You're not doing any favours for yourself, you're losing friends and making enemies. People are laughing at you and people are talking about you. Don't shoot the messenger because I have not contributed to anything negative. People have lost all respect for you I'm afraid, but at least you're happy right? My advice to you is to just keep doing what makes you happy, but never lose sight of where you want to be. If you commit yourself to your dreams people will respect you. You have that in you, people still believe in you so hold on to your ambitions. You're slipping but don't let go.

A friend of mine posted a status on that infamous website stating: "You'll only lose something if you decide to let it go"

The first comment was from a person who I will name "Anon" and the second from Me. This is how the conversation of comments went...

Anon: I wish that were true :(

Me: That is True.

Anon: I didn't decided to go.. he did.

Me: Yeah and he lost you.

Anon: Yet I'm feeling loss and he isn't?

Me: Look at is like this; the one who decided to cling on is the one who shouldn't have been let go of. They are the one with the commitment and dedication to what they believe in. So therefore it's his loss. He might not realise it just yet, but he will. He lost something that was worth clinging on to.

Me: It's not only relevant to relationships. It is true with band members, employment, inspirations, dreams and ideas. Hold on to what you believe in, to what you are dedicated to and what you've committed yourself to. It's the people that cling on to these things that are worth anything. I don't know you very well, in fact I barely know you at all but you're a clinger, which will pay off in your future. Whereas people who give up on things will constantly be starting from scratch and will be taking one step forward and two steps back.

Anon: It wasn't a relationship anyway.. just.. a friendship, you think that'd mean something.

Me: A friendship is a relationship.

People who give up on real dedication and turn their life into a series of distractions, convenient pairing-up and meaningless encounters have no right to try and destroy someone else's life. They have no right to put down the people that are trying their hardest and clinging on to what they have always believed in.

Live your own life to the full for God's sake.

Some people may take this blog as an insult, and if you do, just stop for one second before you jump at my throat. At first glance you will want to fight with what I am saying, you will want to prove me wrong, but just wait. Think about your dreams and ambitions. Think about the people that said they would always be there to help you through the hard times and finally reach that goal. That is what I do, I stop, I think and I weigh out the advice with patience and couth. I think about my best friends, I think about the ones that will never give up on me, the ones that give me that strength, that fuel to carry on through all the hard times and help me endure the daggers that have been flung at my face to try and stop me from succeeding. I'm writing this entry with adrenaline rushing through my body and my blood pumping through my veins. My friends and my family are the ones that deserve a slice of cake at the end of my battles and I'll serve it to them.

Dan.



Never give up in what you believe in. Just don't do it. It doesn't matter what it is or what other people think of it. Just keep yourself commited to your beliefs.

Song listening to right now: New Noise - Refused

Week 161: Defend.

Some things are hard to do, they hurt. However, you know in your heart, deep down that it's the right thing to do. No matter how much pain it may cause you; you have to stand up for what you believe in. 

Dan.














The site of Massada has a lot of relevance to this...

"Well it is written in the art of war, to fight only the battles you can win. But I will defend your honour until they kick my face in."

Song listening to right now: 5 Different Bottles of Shampoo - The King Blues

Week 160: Meet. Repeat.

Last week I wrote about people coming back from my past and making me a happy guy. However, I forgot to mention the amount of new people I have encountered and how happy they make me. There are specific individuals that have become close to me. I appreciate them so much, the things they do for me, the late night phone calls, the little things they send to me to cheer me up. Some times you meet someone out of nowhere and within weeks they just naturally understand you. It's an amazing phenomenon that I rarely experience in my life. Everyone has their own connections between others and themselves. I understand that some people like to cut those connections and leave them dangling so that another connection can come along and tie themselves to that thread. But that's not how I work, I don't cut, I make new connections. I don't link anything up. Everything is separate. I don't look at my friends as a group, I appreciate them for the individual people they are. I have individual connections with them, that are unique to our friendships. The lines never cross. 

So this is a big thank you to the people I've met recently and all the people I've met before but only just got to know. My heart goes out to the one's that are entering my life and giving me the laughs that I need. These are the people that matter, the one's that just... understand.

D.

By no means does this mean I do not appreciate my old friends or anyone else. This is just a specific thank you to the beautiful people who enter my life.

Song listening to right now: I Tore You Apart In My Head - Balance and Composure

Week 159: Blast from the past.

So some people have been re-entering my life from my. People who know me very well and know how to make me smile. There is one person in particular who knows me better than most and I'd class her as a very good friend. We don't talk much, just the fleeting text every now and again but she knows how to cheer me up. We've had a lot of stuff in the past between us and we have a lot of history. We don't need to talk all the time or contact each other 24/7 we just know that we can count on each other to cheer us up when we need it. 

Dan.

This is not the girl I am referring to in my blog. However, she is also a very close friend of mine that I look up to quite a lot. I feel that if I only get a text every now and again from my friends I can still be content and happy because those short bursts of communication are normally full of things that make me smile. It's hard living so far away from your friends, but I will never become "out of sight, out of mind".

Song listening to right now: The Past Should Stay Dead - Emarosa

Week 158: Straight into the shining sun.

First off, I'd like to apologise for any sad, boring, emotional blog posts that I have made over the past couple of months. My life is great, I enjoy every waking minute, everything has direction and it completes me just to see a future for myself. I have some great traits about my personality and work ethic that I'm sure have been noticed within my career. I don't exploit myself to routine, to spending my earnings on going out and drinking until I can't remember the night. I don't go rushing into things. I have direction, I have a lot of skills that I can utilize to make things work for me and the people I care about. I have dedication and I have ambition. I know exactly what I am doing.

Some people take the easy route in life, they stick to stuff that is easy and convenient. When they are confused they latch on to things that are nearby and they have easy access to. They cling to these things only temporarily until they realise what is important and just have to let go. I will never do this, it's just not me and it's not in my nature. I will always strive to get the most out of life, no matter how much it challenges my soul. No dead ends, no laborious routines and certainly no time wasting on temporary fixes. I am right, and those people that are living their lives like that, know in their heart of hearts that I am right. 

Dan.

Exactly. I could not be happier with the way I live my life, I have always been this way and I will always stay this way. I've been made to realise this by a few individuals recently, and I can not thank them enough for this. I have a beautiful life, only surrounded by beautiful people.

Song listening to right now: Coming Back to Life - Pink Floyd